It was more of a command than a suggestion – but I suppose several years of marriage warrants that he “commands” me to do things for my own good.
I mean, I do it all the time to him.
“Go walk the dogs,” I say or “Give me that bag of chips now.”
Or my favourite.
“We’re going shopping.”
Trust me – these orders are all for his own good, because truth be told I’m a bitch when I’m hungry, and every girls needs more shoes for their fundamental platform of happiness.
Don’t believe me?
Look it up.
And when it did become ok for men to nag? I thought that was strictly a woman thing – I guess times are a changing.
“Go write now,” he commands more sternly – pointing his condescending index finger towards my office. He tries to glare at me while I stare wide eyed feigning fright -all the while stuffing chips in my mouth with no remorse. I silently contemplate if I would rather make chocolate chip or peanut butter cookies after. Each have their benefits chocolate chips give you that sweet rush but a peanut butter cookie is a solid one. Rich in flavour.
“Come on Shareen, it’s been how long now?”
I cringe. The mere thought of thinking what my stats could be during my hiatus is nauseating.
I stuff more chips in my mouth. I know there’s artificial cheese cancer powder all over my face. My hair’s a mess and I’m wearing my break-up outfit – baggy sweats and his Dungeons and Dragons t-shirt.
I can’t blame him, remember that guy that used to eat faces and took bath salts?
He looks hotter than me right now.
“Are you depressed?” He looks genuinely concerned as he reaches to take the bag of chips out of my death grasp.
“No.” I burst out laughing.
Or am I?
It’s simple really.
Anyone who has ever created something – whether it’s art, music, writing – anything at all, knows that sometimes you just have to take space.
The truth is, sometimes there are no words.
And that’s fine.
Sometimes we get caught up in the need to constantly produce, to impress and to wow – it takes its toll, and sometimes that cost is the very passion you once had for the thing you loved so much.
Don’t feel bad if you missed a post or several – like me.
Just eat a bag of chips.
And before you know it, your love will come back to you again.
The passion will return.
And you will find words.
Sweet Dreams World.
p.s. And if not? Totally go for the peanut butter cookies. Totally.
p.p.s Embrace the support of those around you – yes albeit at times they don’t necessarily see things through the eyes of our aspiring pained artist demeanour – but love like that is simply precious.