Day -31: What’s your Sign?

Admittedly, there was a time (longer than I would care to admit) where everything I did was dictated by horoscopes.

Don’t laugh.

ho no

It was a torturous release for those like me who crave nothing more than to control every second of every minute of every hour of everyday. It felt good – safe even, knowing what kind of day I was going to have.

I was the hoarder of horoscopes. I kid you not. Every morning at precisely 8:00 am my inbox would be flooded with online oracles of how my day would be. And we’re not talking one or two email subscriptions – oh no – I had 17 messages sent from online astrological “experts.” Who, coincidentally, also were “experts” at speaking with the dead, deciphering dreams, tarot, and predicting the future. But those services came at a cost and a credit card. I never went that far, I always thought if I did – that would indicate some major red light or warning sign that I had gone too far. And we all know there’s no respectable 12 step program for a horoscope addiction.

Everyday, at 8 am I would read each paragraph with apprehension. Was I going to have a good day? Was I going to meet my soul mate? Or was today going to be a stay in bed and eat all the chocolate in the world day?

I always wondered why they contradicted themselves. How could I be starting something new with someone old – and get broken up with simultaneously? How could I be assured that one day was going to incredible with high mood levels, when the next post would tell me that I would feel two paces away from suicidal?

I know what you’re thinking – I should have seen the holes. But I’m an “expert” at mental gymnastics and I found away to make it work. When ever my tummy would churn from news of impending doom, I would read another post and that would convince me that I was cured from the curse of a terrible day.

It’s so stupid – I know. I want to lie and say I was young and didn’t know better. But I did. I truly did.

That moment before checking my inbox was anxiety ridden – like waiting for an acceptance letter or that phone call from your prospective employer. Or alternatively – that moment before you find out if you’re getting expelled. You get the point.

Why they would all arrive at 8 am was attributed to some mystical astrological phenomena that I simply could not fathom. Well – that is until I later realised that you could dictate the time the email was sent out. It was then when I started to notice the magic fading.

The stars ruled my life – they told me who my friends could be and who my boyfriends couldn’t.

I would find myself asking a person what their star sign was  15 minutes into meeting them – and if they weren’t members of the elite few that could bear to stomach my unique brand of crazy – then it was over. Done. A closed book – and one I would never visit again.

In retrospect – I think I did them the favour.

Everything needed to fit in my compartmentalised mind- to make sense.

Relationship were the worst. Once finding out their star sign, I would visit the usual suspects and fill in the online forms to find out our astrological compatibility. I would take the knowledge and run it through a statistics analysis – what were the odds of us actually working out? The higher the odds of failure – the more insecure I was.  And if he cleared, then it was a matter of time before I would get the email telling me to end my toxic relationship.

Do I believe in horoscopes?

I don’t know. Does it matter?

We’ve all been there – desperate for an answer, in need for some guidance – but at what cost?

Nothing should have that power of you. Nothing should dictate every aspect of your life – and nothing whether online or off can tell if you if something is meant to work out.

Horoscopes aren’t bad, but they shouldn’t consume you. Everything in moderation.

You are you. So be you.

Sweet Dreams World.

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64 replies

  1. I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Refer to my blog for the rules and to see your nomination. =)

  2. Hello there. I’ve nominated you for a Versatile Blogger Award. You can read more about it on my blog here: http://haleydhiggins.wordpress.com/2013/03/24/awards-for-versatility-in-blogging-time-to-pass-the-baton/ Thank you for sharing your creativity with me and following along with my journey.

    With love,
    Haley

  3. Wow! Love this! And is it so horrible to admit that we’ve all been there…? Hem, hem. Well, at least in the respect of looking for some sort of guidance or path or whatever. Then I guess it’s some sort of consolation to know that one hasn’t been alone in the horoscope crutch!

  4. excellent thought at the end of your blog You are you, Be you. Well said.

  5. My subscriptions like to leave random days up to me and tell me at the END of the day how my day should have gone 🙂

  6. Nope I laughed. I know you said don’t do it, but… I laughed.

  7. Nice blog ive never been a horoscope fan always wen I read dem dey were talking about things dat dont actually make sense to me and I always found them funny…
    I have a collegue who passionately believes in horoscpoes you wont have a conversation with her without mentioning stars signs her life revolves around dem and I find her interest since I always have somethimg to argue with her and she is always expecting that reffering to my star sign and I always find a way of outlining how horoscope are jus predictions at time even though sometimes dey tell de trueth but not always…

  8. You know what’s funny, everytime i read my horoscope i always find myself thinking “wow this perfectly describes my day yesterday or the day before.” Once my horoscope actually told me that i don’t believe what I’m reading anyway so I might as well stop checking it, so I did.

  9. So many blogs out there, but yours is a truly refreshing take on life. Been there, done that for most of us. Huge slice of life. Lovely!!

  10. “You are you”. You are right. Wonderful way to put forth what you wanted to say. And God! You make me laugh loudly! *My mom nearly asked me to shut up, it’s 3 am here mind you!*

  11. Nice post. I was never into horoscopes, so when people asked me what my sign was, I always answered “Detour-Road Closed.” If they could not understand and appreciate the reply, I knew there was no sense in furthering the conversation.

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