Today, I performed my once every several month ritual of checking out what my friends on Facebook are up to.
An act I usually perform at my parents’ house after they’ve fed me a hearty meal of “look at how successful everyone else in the world is.”
What can I say? It’s their favorite.
The dish usually starts off with my mom polishing one of my dad’s many awards, she then looks wistfully off into the nothingness and slowly lets out an endless sigh. Then she tosses her hand in the air as if to dismiss a thought.
Why she’s polishing the awards is truly beyond me – mainly because every few months she gets them touched up professionally.
“You had so much potential.”
“Just yesterday I heard about ____________ (insert random name of some one I went to school with 15 years ago) and they’re doing huge things for the world. Huge. ”
I want to roll my eyes so badly. But I’ve been here before, and I won’t make that mistake again.
“Do you want to see their pictures? They all look so happy, every single one of the kids you went to school with, they are just so happy and successful.”
I can’t take it anymore, so I say, “Funny, you bring up my old school mates mom. Were you too invited to ____________’s going away party? Yeah mom, he’s going away to jail for dealing CRYSTAL METH.”
“Oh him? He was a losesr. I’m talking about everyone else. And your exes, see how they all got married to gorgeous women that look like super models?”
I stare at my beautiful, loving, insanely competitive mother and I know at this point in time, nothing, nothing at all can soothe her. Apparently, in today’s world, being a mother, an online entrepreneur and writer simply isn’t enough. I waited patiently until she finished her lecture – which was symbolically over when she polished the very last plaque, placed it on the table and gracefully walked away.
Slim Jims in hand, I headed upstairs to see what exactly was enough.
And who was a better judge of success than Facebook.
It was abysmal. Spread out in front of me was the sexy centerfold that was everyone’s life and displayed on their profiles was a list of company names designed to make even the most flaccid person erect. Apple, Amazon, Abercrombie and Fitch (Model) were just a few of tantalizing names. And that was just the foreplay.
As I continued to peruse, I discovered that some of my friends were senators 0r heads of NGOs while others were business owners or taking over their parent’s well established international empires .
I needed something stronger than a Slim Jim.
It was after I sufficiently stuffed my face with enough carbs to keep even Oprah happy, that fate decided to pass on an olive branch – so to speak.
God bless my super, incredible friends who have the courage and guts to post the job position “Assistant Barista,” or “Aspiring Hip Hop Artist.”
Screw all those who work for Fortune 500 companies or are leading our nations into this new century. Think you’re so cool working for Apple? Oh and you, you who’s got their own TV show…ok fine, your job is pretty cool.
The truth is, everything we’re doing is kind of incredible, even if it’s an unheard album or a helping someone make a delicious cup of coffee.
Except for those dealing Crystal Meth. You know who you are.
So stop comparing yourself with everyone else – because you are enough.
You are success defined.
Sweet Dreams World.