We live in a world where everyone is a breath of fresh air, everyones’ blogs are inspirational soon to be HBO hits, and everyones’ home recorded R&B tracks sound just like Timberlake.
Our attention spans are now the same length of … oooh shiny.
How does one succeed in love when in today’s world the competition is no longer the leggy blond that’s been eyeing your crush but also, iPods, iPads, iMacs, the internet, 4 chan, MMOs, legalized pot, and every man’s inevitable hip hop phase?
And here’s how ladies.
Channel your inner artist:
Men love an oozing, brooding dark side. Oh wait – no, that’s women. Doesn’t matter. Nothing screams “LOVE ME” more than a girl in touch with her art side. Don’t have an art side?
Stick with abstract, it’s the easiest way not to blow the facade. Show your prospective lover a picture that resembles this:
Too difficult? Again, not to worry. Everything can be art and anyone can be an artist, go outside and take a picture of something that looks deep. In this case, I selected a tree covered in snow. It’s meaningful and symbolic –
The goal here is to get them wondering what’s underneath every layer of you. Which is a perfect lead into the next step.
Send them a sexy pic text:
To keep your man guessing, it is crucial that you send them a picture that looks like this:
See? Now you’ve got him thinking. He’s sitting there, staring at this photo, wondering if you’ve just sent him boob. And it’s driving him crazy.
Ok in fairness that picture was just my arm. But still.
The easiest way to a man’s heart is …..
OK, so you might have hit a bit of a stale mate. You sending that picture just might have indicated that you’re a tiny bit odd. Again, fixable. Invite him over for some delicious baked sweet goods -(note: ask first for any medical conditions before feeding him your heavenly carbs i.e. peanut allergy or diabetes). The target here is to show him just how versatile you truly are, not only are you an up and coming artist and a sexual goddess, BUT you can also make a mean batch of cookies. If all else fails and he’s not biting into the bull, you can always have your way with him after he’s entered the sugar induced coma resulting from your labor of love.
Puppy Love: Men love ladies that love their pets. Especially dogs. So flush your gold fish down the toilet and tell your hamsters to take a hike, preferably before your new pet puppy gets home and devours them. Try to pick a pup with panache. Say no to the Chihuahuas and other members of the glorified oversized rat family and invest in a dog that weighs more than you. Trust me, very little stands out more than a dog dragging their owner through mud. Oh and don’t forget to dress them up like this :
Too Cool for well, anything: Don’t forget the most important part of this exercise. You exude confidence, ooze sexiness and excrete mystery. So show it – by posting a picture like this on all your social media profiles:
Because who wouldn’t want a brooding artist, with a mysterious and adventurous sexy side, that loves to bake, and has dog wolves?
Sweet Dreams World