What the hell World of Warcraft! If you were a person, I would slash your tires – no, I would smash your TV, wait wait no I would put laxatives in your drinks.
It all started when I had a few of my avid gamer friends over for the classic dinner of champions – pizza, when they brought to my attention a whole world inside my world of warcraft.
The scandalous world of sex.
Each dished their own story of how they pretended to be a girl online for a few extra gold. How they would erotically dance for presumably under aged boys who had just learned what a boner was – for items. Apparently there was a system to lure these naive warlocks, shamans and mages and it was a rigged and dirty one. Each explained their cliche MMO sexual encounter, how it started with the innocent asl. Then rapidly moved on to verbal foreplay. This apparently was used as a tease to get them to dish the gold. A classic is the typical “What are you wearing?” in which one of my male friends replied teasingly “Oh me? I’m only wearing my studded leather panties.”
I watched them laugh at his obviously noobish female attempts at cyber sex. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. Obviously a real woman would reply with tact and would play hard to get.
Once the money was safely deposited in their character’s mail box, the eager lover would wait patiently to video chat with his new acquired loot, in where evilly the impostor would expose that he in fact did not have a vagina.
“Has anyone ever done this to you?” I asked my friends.
“Yeah – all the time. I get whispered by female characters asking me if I want a good time,” replied one.
“And what do you say?” I asked in the voice of a child that was about to find out that Santa was not real. Oops I meant spoiler alert.
“I say no,” he asserted.
I was outraged.
How dare they.
No I wasn’t just outraged. I was down right furious.
Because the truth is I’m ACTUALLY a girl and no one, not one prepubescent boy or much older married man with seven children has ever propositioned me.
I mean come on, I’m cute aren’t I? Just check me out below…
“Why don’t you just strip in the game?” quipped another mmo slut of a friend.
“How do I do that?” I asked wide eyed.
“You drag each piece of armour off.”
I stared at him perplexed.
“How is that hot?” I asked.
“Don’t ask me,” he laughed. They all laughed … at me.
The sad part is – it’s not just them who viciously exploit sex for money – it turns out there’s a whole sub race of men that troll around as women feasting on the sexually frustrated youth or sexually frustrated youth at heart of MMOs – willing to say or do whatever they need for a few extra gold or some mediocre items. It’s online prostitution is what it is – and it’s disgusting, degrading and unfair to the real women.
How do you live with yourselves.
Sweet Dreams World