Day 26 – The Painful Experience That Is Christmas TV

Christmas TV is designed to be very much like Christmas Dinner – coma inducing.

It’s as if TV execs were force fed pounds of Turkey and various other sedative inducing foods then were told to select programs that best fit their already dormant state of mind.

In what world is the gift of Barbara Streisand a good one? Easy pervs. And who is this gifter? And why is she so scary? I miss jolly red coke chugging Santa – where did he go? Where are all the GOOD commercials, the ones that make you feel something, anything?

In between all the  Norman Rockwell-esque movies and  re-runs of the Big Bang Theory, is a terrifying drug commercial – and seriously big Pharma you guys needs to get your act together. If more than 80% of your advertised medications have the side effect of suicidal thoughts, maybe it’s time you conferred with your R&D department. How does your marketing team sit there and strategize a sell plan for medicine that has the side effect of death?

Your “subtle” message however is a consistent one: meds are the solution. Need to black out? Try our new NyQuil just for passing out, side effects include waking up next to people you don’t know and general body numbness, oh and amnesia, and in rare cases addiction. But very rarely.

Or for men suffering from low testosterone, try Androgel and anything or anyone you touch later will have hormone levels significantly higher than yours.

Of course Little A has no interest in watching the same “quality” TV shows that I do, and since it is Christmas after all, a little Treehouse couldn’t hurt anybody.

Wrong.

So so wrong.

Who are these dancing men in bright blue leotards? And why are their packages so distinctly outlined? Am  I the only parent that’s jaw dropped to the ground when I saw this? And why does my son love dancing with them so much?

Someone tell me what to do!!

Someone tell me what channel Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is on.

After convincing little A that it was his nap time, I cuddled up on the couch with a blankey and switched channels to my safe place – the news.

Why is the world is devoid of happiness!?

CNN was broadcasting on two of their most popular topics – bad weather and crazy shooters, and FOX was focused on the War on Christmas.

More channel surfing, more old movies, more old shows, sigh.

You would think that the one day everyone in the world is at home, they would have good TV.

Maybe the shows will come to life after I’ve consumed 12,000 calories and half a bottle of NyQuil.

Sweet Dreams World and Merry Christmas

P.S.  Another side effect of NyQuil is the inability to dream.

 

 

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2 replies

  1. Omg…. Could you be any more entertaining?

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  1. Day 26 – The Painful Experience That Is Christmas TV « shareenayoub

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