I think I just did something crazy. Like seriously, this one takes the cake. It’s crazier than getting all my friends here random animal blow up sex dolls – sorry should have said spoiler alert. This is more outlandish than me thinking you could buy STDs from Amazon, or even more absurd than that time I thought I could bring 4 guys to the same party.
The craziest part is that I can’t stop laughing.
I blame you Dean.
I blame you for entertaining my random ideas related to my new book about inter office erotic emails that will make the New York Times Best Seller list, will land me a place on Jon Stewart and soon after will ultimately end up being a movie trilogy, like the Hobbit, but with like with no quality, 2D filming, and a cast including Honey BooBoo, the South Park Writers, and Sarah Jessica Parker. We could have played a couple more rounds of Settlers of Catan – where for the record, I was kicking everyones’ ass. We could have just chilled and planned for next year’s cookie exchange. But no.
I blame the deliciously yummy Thai soup which was obviously laced with some sort of exotic Far Eastern Crack/LSD hybrid drug.
I literally will not take any responsibility for the gargantuan act if dumbassery I just performed.
This is worse than a sex tape, although a sex tape would probably get me that book deal. hmm. No. Sex tapes are just weird. No, what’s weird, are all those crazy guys on Animal Planet and Discovery Channel that sit there and watch Hippos have sex for hours, like really, you’ve got to be unhinged if you’ve made a career off of Animal Erotica. The hours they put in to getting the right angles and lighting, weirdos.
Ok Shareen. Chill. It’s not that bad. You’re still young, you’re bound to do things even more insane.
God I hope so.
I thought I outgrew this phase years ago, you know, in my early twenties, when mistakes were erased at your local watering hole.
You know what, this doesn’t matter. This is a good thing. I did something gutsy today. This is going to be one hell of a story later on. I’m just being overdramatic. I’m sure that this is much bigger in my head than it is in real life. I mean I bet people do this sort of thing ALL the time. And so what if it seems a little bit psychopathic and borderline creepy, it was honest. Isn’t that what counts?
There are bigger scarier things out there – you know like Nicki Minaj and the Kardashians.
Damn you Minaj for making catchy songs.
I can’t even believe my own bullshit right now.
I’m taking a bath.
Sweet Dreams World.