Day 17

The drunken text.

We’ve all been there, lustfully caressing our fingers across our phones, thinking about that one person that we want to say it all to. We couldn’t possibly say it sober, we couldn’t possibly just be straight and honest. No, sobriety is a world for games and intoxication is a place for truths.

So you sit there, sipping on your liquid courage, your truth serum, as you stare at their face in your mind. But in your mind its different, in your mind they are sitting on a couch alone, watching TV in a dark room, thinking of you. Willing you to text them with all their might.

Aren’t you glad that you have the perfect scape goat?

You lift your phone three sips in, you convince yourself that you are ready, that you are fearless, that you can do this. But you’re still sober, so you place your phone on your lap. Face down of course.

You’ve finished your first glass, your cheeks tingle with warmth, you push your hair back and lift your phone. Only to then wonder what to say.

What do you say?

You start to bite the inside of your lower lip. You reach for your second glass and drink thirstily, hoping to find the answer at the bottom of the cup.

What is the one thing you could say that would change everything?

I wish you were here?

Too cliche.

What are you thinking?

Who cares.

I want you?

Too forward.

I love you.

Just right.

You start the third drink as you start to carefully focus on the letters as you type. You have to get it just right. This simply could not be uttered sober. This is your only chance.

Wait.

What happens next?

Your chin falls in between your hands. Your eyebrows furrow, your eyes look down.

You ask yourself, what is the truth?

The truth?

I just want you.

No, that’s not the whole truth.

I want you to want me to text you right now. Because it all means nothing, nothing at all if you don’t.

You place your phone face down. Your head starts to spin. What are you doing? It’s final. That’s it. You simple will not send a text at all. Magically, drink number 4 arrives.

You lips spread as far they possibly can showing one of your most radiant smiles. You can feel your cheeks start to stretch with happiness. You feel giddy. Why are you smiling so hard?

Oh yeah, because of you.

You start to convince yourself, this time it’s far easier.

We could be together, right now. It would be incredible. We could have our arms wrapped around each other. We could make the fantasy a reality.

Your mind starts to race, as flashes of romantic comedies play in your head. That could be us.

Drink 5 goes down.

You start to type as fast as you can. It has to be now.

Adrenaline is pumping, heart is beating, mind racing.

You need a break. You put your head down, just for a minute. Your body succumbs to the peace, gives in to the silence.

The daylight gently forces your eyelids to lift. The brightness stings like a fresh wound. You reach for your phone, only to find the message laying there.

In simple print reads the words, “I love you.” The unsent message serves as a reminder of last night.

It’s too late now.

You delete the text.

 

Sweet Dreams World.

 

 

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