Today, I witnessed a tragedy. A true and utter travesty. I wish it was a one off, like a hit and run, but its worse than that. It’s a bloody epidemic.
What’s up with men all recycling the same line?
It’s goes a little something like this, if you are a women or resemble anything feminine, then I’m certain you’ve been a victim of what one could only hope is a sickness with the incubation period of let’s say Ebola.
“I had a dream about you.”
Come on ladies, I know we all do this unanimously – the classic eye roll.
Seriously? You had a dream about me?
No, you didn’t. Don’t lie.
Screw it, let’s give them the benefit of the doubt. People have dreams about people all the time.
So you candidly reply with, “Oh? What did you dream about?”
And this is the ultimate bull shit test, when they say this, “I can’t tell you.”
You feel gutsy, you feel like calling him out on his sad poor strung lie, so you insist.
Oh? You’ve got the balls to make up a dream right now, while we’re chatting? You realize you’re humiliating yourself, right?
Fair enough, let’s hear it.
He starts to type furiously, throwing compliments left, right and centre. His sentences stop making sense, like he’s delusional – while you patiently read, amused more than anything else.
He knows you’re on to him, so he ups the ante, rapidly the words go from a g-rating to sentences you would only find in an erotic novel.
What is he thinking?
That I’m going to break up my family and leave my husband, kid and four dogs because he’s read 50 Shades of Grey?
As a woman, I’m insulted, because today was the 4th time I’ve heard this line in 2 days, and I’m not a super model, I just ate 7 banana muffins in the past twenty minutes. I’m not a Victoria Secret Model, I take my son to daycare with my hot pink socks on top of my jeans. I’m about to bake 4 dozen cookies for a cookie exchange, none of these activities scream sex appeal.
This is evidence that men have dropped the ball – literally and figuratively. Where’s your creativity? Where’s the effort? Come on, if you really want to break up a family, you’ve got to at least TRY.
It’s with a heavy heart that I end this post. The future is bleak for us ladies. If you find a man who doesn’t recycle piss poor lines, then you hold on to him, hold on for dear life.
Sweet Dreams World
And for the men – Dream On.